Empty Nesters, Again

They call it "empty nest syndrome," usually referring to parents who suddenly find themselves without any kids in the house. The metaphor is simple: as the house is now empty, so momma and papa bird suddenly have more space in the nest when their chick flies off. 


My wife and I are empty nesting, a marital duet for the first time since September 25, 1997, the day before  our daughter was born. I suppose you could back that up nine months to define the end of our two-person nest, because when we found out Laura was expecting mid-January of that year, our world expanded from the two of us to the two-plus-one, pending arrival. 

For the last 25 years, our world centered around our kids, first one daughter, then a second, and then a son. There were soccer games, band concerts, theater, and FFA. We sold candy bars, popcorn, and beef jerky. We cheered, hugged, encouraged and fussed. We proofed papers, flipped flashcards, learned "new math" (literally, we had to learn math fact rhymes: "when two plus two walk through the door, when they leave then they're four") and tried to remember things we hadn't studied since the early 90's. We made plenty of mistakes, royally messed up more than once, got it right sometimes, and tried our best to make sure that at the end of the day, the kids knew we loved them without reservation. There were days we would have orchestrated a trade with the Warm Spit Bottling Company of the Walburg-Theon-Corn Hill metroplex, but at the end of the day, we were family - right or wrong. 

The three of us moved from St. Louis, Missouri to Crockett, Texas. Four of us moved into an apartment in Crosby, Texas and, less than a year later, five of us lived together in the house we called home. The nest was full: Mom, Dad, two daughters, one son, three cats. Then, the nest started to thin out. The oldest went off to college, and then four of us moved to Victoria, Texas. After he graduated high school, the youngest joined the Navy, thinning our ranks to three. One cat had to be out to sleep. When it was time for my wife and I to move to Oklahoma, the middle child stayed in Victoria with her two cats and, this time, we drove away - just the two of us, she and I, as Grover Washington, Jr., crooned. 

The nest was empty, somehow smaller without the kids yet at the same time feeling larger. Two bedrooms are basically empty - one, with a bed, waiting for someone to visit; one with a desk and the ironing board, ready to get the work done. The master bedroom, on the other side of the home, houses our bed where we sleep with the dog tucked between us at night. In between is the living room, kitchen and dining room. 

Right now, we're busy enough that the emptiness is filled with work, the calm silence punctuated with the television and tapping of keyboards. Instead of talking to the kids about their day, we talk to the dog and ask if she needs to go potty, yet. It feels odd only having to ask my wife of her idea for dinner, not having to ask two or more. Ditto, making Saturday plans. It's a new town to explore; new places to see; new things to do. Next week, the local theater is doing a show. Maybe we'll go see it Friday. Or Saturday. Or maybe we'll go to Trivia Night, instead. 

Or, maybe we'll sit on the couch and scratch the dog behind the ears, trying to decide how to fill an empty nest. 

Just the two of us
We can make it if we try
Just the two of us
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
Building big castles way on high
Just the two of us
You and I
just the two of us
(We can make it, just the two of us)
Let's get it together baby (yeah)
(Just the two of us)
Just the two of us
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)
(We can make it, just the two of us)
(Just the two of us)

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Bill Withers / Ralph Macdonald / William Salter
Just the Two of Us lyrics © Bleunig Music, BMG Rights Management

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